When you have checked all the boxes but have not checked the RACE box

My days of tuning in to reality dating shows like the Bachelor or the Bachelorette are over. I really don’t have the time to devote hours to a show that cannot improve my life, or that had very little to offer. In general, my television screen time pales in comparison to that of my phone, iPad, or MacBook.

However, at Hulu’s recommendation, I started binge watching “Labor of Love” – a dating show that was different from others that I’ve seen before. Get this: the show chronicled the journey of Kristy, a 41-year old white woman who was dating with a purpose. She wanted to find a match to father her child. Say what? Yeah, you heard me right. Essentially, her suitors were judged through a series of competitions, dates, etc., based on whether she could see herself starting a life with them, and significantly, if they would be a good fit as her potential baby daddy. Of course, this all makes sense. At 41, time is not exactly in your favor when it comes on to childbirth. 

Kristy’s approach to dating was a no-nonsense, do-it-my-way kind. If there was one bad vibe on the part of her potential baby daddy, she is not the type to entertain it as we typically see in other dating shows. One strike and you are out! Simply stated, at her age, she did not have time for any nonsense or bs. That definitely kept me tuned in.

Here Comes Stewart

Stewart, one of her potential mates, is tall, charming, and extremely good-looking. He also happens to be a BLACK man. He wooed her from Day 1 by taking the initiative to offer her a drink while all the other guys were chatting and didn’t even conceive such a gesture. From what we saw, they proved to have a very strong connection throughout the filming, and week after week, Stewart solidified his spot in the next round.

There was never a question of his intentions on the show, or his genuineness. He was there for one reason, for Kristy. And week after week, we saw what was shaping up to be an amazing love story: A tall, successful CEO that kept sweeping Kristy off her feet, who would eventually go on to make amazing babies together. (How many times have I said the word tall?) And the chemistry? From what we saw, it was there, and it was real. 

….And Kyle

The final two contestants were down to Stewart and Kyle. Kyle, also ridiculously tall, a bit younger than Kristy, and a late-runner in the show, was a white man. Kyle and Stewart had a lot of bro moments on the show, and they seemed to have built a close connection over time. In the later episodes, we saw Kyle and Kristy getting closer, and enjoying each other’s company. But, was there more to it than that?

Face it, Kyle was no Stewart. He clearly did not have his ish together like Stewart did. He was not as charming, and was not as gentlemanly. But, he was a white man. Let us not forget that. Kristy herself was underwhelmed when she visited Kyle’s bachelor pad. It lacked style and wasn’t quite there. On the other hand, Stewart didn’t fail to impress. A very modern, classy home equipped with a vision board was revealed when he let America in. Seriously, what’s there not to love about Stewart? 

Red Flags?

In the penultimate episode, Stewart asked Kristy a very important question. One that she wasn’t prepared to answer, and one that Twitterville felt she should have had an answer for. When asked how she felt about having an interracial child, Kristy responded that she didn’t know, and deflected the question. Really sis? That response was a real blow, but I still had faith that Stewart would be selected as the show’s winner. After all, he checked all the boxes. In my and America’s eyes, he was perfect in every way while Kyle lagged behind in so many ways. 

Final Episode 

Missing the final episode was not an option for me. I made sure to tune in to Fox this past Thursday, at 9 pm. I dare not miss that final moment when Kristy would select Stewart, so they could go and create babies, to fulfill Kristy’s and the show’s mission. As I eagerly watched the last episode, Kristy started to give off hints that she wasn’t really into Stewart after all. Mind you, Stewart sailed through week after week, without reservation, but suddenly, now there’s a problem. According to Kristy, the chemistry with Stewart wasn’t there. That’s a very nice try Kristy, because if that was how you really felt about Stewart, the producers did a poor job at displaying that “lack of chemistry” to the Labor of Love’s viewers. 

In the last episode, the guys met Kristy’s parents, and of course, Stewart showered the family with gifts like flowers etc., while Kyle, not surprisingly, went empty-handed. In the final moments of the show, we saw Kristy breaking up with Stewart. She told him that he checked “all the boxes” but it was not enough. Stewart wept, and we felt it. We felt his pain, are we are made AF.

What more did you want Kristy? Stewart had everything that you asked for, and everything that you could possibly want. There was however, one thing that Stewart could not give Kristy, and that was a white child. You see, an interracial child would not have fit into Kristy’s family portrait that she has been wanting to build for so long. So, sorry Stewart, because of that, Kristy will choose a white guy that can give her that picture, even though he does not measure up. 

I was not alone in my feelings:

Kristy went with Kyle, despite her reservations that he may not be ready to start a family. But who cares? dude is white and he is capable of giving her the picture that she seeks. And, surprise, surprise, People magazine has reported that the couple has already went their separate ways, after only a few months of dating. 

My Takeaways:

When a white man is being mediocre, he will still win. That is the America that we live in, and we have seen it time and time again. A BLACK dude can have all the boxes checked, but since he cannot check the “race” box, it’s a “no” for you bro. My thing is, it is okay for you to like what you like, or to want what you want. You are entitled to that. But don’t string a dude along like that when you damn well knew you were not into him all along. That’s some real ish right there. Stewart, from Creative Ajay, we’re saying, keep on being you, keep on doing your damn thing. There is someone out there for you, and it is clearly not Kristy.